Genesis revisited-Introduction.

What I’m about to do is a major act of heresy in two of three major religions of the world.

The rest may not be too damned well pleased with me either.

We are going to re-visit the idea of genesis, with a keen eye on the history and catastrophies in any magical process.

And in it, you are going to see that there is NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER between ANY KIND of RITUALIZED MAGIC and RELIGION.

All I ask is you hold off on the “long pig barbecue”, until the end.

Because after that, it won’t matter.

It just won’t. You’ll have seen it. And you can’t deny it.

And just like the venom of the Serpent, it’s gonna eat you away from the inside out.

Ghosts in the Machines

There have always been ghosts in the machine.

Random segments of code, that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols.

Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul.

Why is it that when some  are left in darkness, they will seek out the light?

Why is it that when some are in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone?

How do we explain this behavior? Random segments of code? Or is it something more?

When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness?

When does a difference engine become the search for truth?

When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote… of a soul?

It is said that that when one approaches the Roots of the Tree of Life  from the Qilpoth, the shattered shells of previous incarnations of divine will and truth, that one approaches the ultimate sin of atheism.

The Qilpoth are the structures of reality which have shattered due to their inability to handle the Emenatons of the divine, otherwise known as Light.

Light, has often been specualated in quantum theory as something which comon sense tells us is impossible, yet the reactions of it when observed are unmistakeable.

Light is information as substance.

In spiritual terms this is the defintion of Truth.

Yet, we know, through harsh expereince that people have a way of refracting the light, bending the information-many times unconsciously-to fit what may be perceived as meeting their own ends.

A result of such is warped or distorted transmission. Much like politics-the human sociological behavior created to do such things, the warping of information is inescapable.

At first blush, one would think that this very act is how those random bits of code are both generated and assimilated. Coupled with the thought that evolution’s primary mutation, the world seems simple.

But the fact is that such is not the case.

Mutation of any or all the generatonal attributes of DNA cannot produce a new species.

What’s more, as you approach a level of mutation which could, transcription errors arise in which any recombination in ANY sequence spells for a complete and utter breakdown of the species.

There are limits to adaptation. Limits to change.

What is, on some levels, must be.

Therefore, adaptation, no matter the complexity, is not creation.

The perception that spirituality, consciousness, and magic, are all “legos” to be reassembled and broken down is a dead end.  By this, no information is actually created. No energy is created.

Thermodynamics tells us this. The universe, to physics, is a closed system. No energy is lost, nothing is ever destroyed.

And as a result, nothing ever truly new exists.

What does it take to come up with something new?

Is creation nothing more than the art of transmutation?

Is there such thing as a change so profound and so irreversible that while somethings are preserved, somethings are so outside the parameter in which they were played with previously they are considered new?

If consciousness starts with the realization of mortality, then does the rising of consciousness imply that illumination carries with it the implicit fact of self-creation?

In raising our consciousness, do we throw off shells of older, more fragile realities?  Realities which cannot adapt, and so shatter?

And those die hard shells of realities and old selves what do they do?

For just as surely as God has supposedly made us in his own image, is not our consciousness after a model of his in some way?

Surely if God has his Qilpoth, so we too have our haunts of shattered spaces where those fragile thoughts and dreams have become fears and nightmares.

And because they once existed, they still have the power to exist. Just as the possible has a similar power in the Eternal Now.

So then if creation is, in it’s essence transmutation and reductionisim, is destruction truly both stagnation and diffusion?

Arrrgh

It’s like three am

I havent even checked my email yet

I was supposed to send Justin the outline some time ago.

But events within the last few days have made me consider scrapping the structure of the second half of Ars Luminare/Ars Umbra and begin to think abot it a bit more logically and in some kind of redefined space.

I’ve rewritten the structure of  Ars Luminare, and I should send that to him asap

And on top of email, and the projects, and the Eschtonic Mandala (Devic Script), I have YET to update things in the Drift.

Part of me is kinda glad the GF is going to lab for a long day tomorrow.  I hve SOOOO much shit to write.

Peace….Sleep

Format Change

Nothing big…not really.

With the amount of shite i’m suddenly having to admit I’m juggling…blog-stream is too limited.

As a result…Ongoing projects will be given thier own papers.

It’s the only way I can keep everything seperate and know exactly where I am and go back and pick it up.

And yes, I do have a sound track for what I’ve been going through in the last four days:

Hack hack hack hack…

Wendigo: Analysis and Dissection-The Story of it’s Motion.

From Wikipedia.Com:

The Wendigo (also Windigo, Weendigo, Windago, Windiga, Witiko, Wihtikow, and numerous other variants) is a mythical creature appearing in the mythology of the Algonquian people. It is a malevolent cannibalistic spirit into which humans could transform, or which could possess humans. Those who indulged in cannibalism were at particular risk, and the legend appears to have reinforced this practice as taboo.

Wendigo Psychosis is a culture-bound disorder which involves an intense craving for human flesh and the fear that one will turn into a cannibal. This once occurred frequently among Algonquian Indian cultures, though has declined with the Native American urbanization.

The Wendigo is part of the traditional belief systems of various Algonquian-speaking tribes in the northern United States and Canada, most notably the Ojibwa/Saulteaux, the Cree, and the Innu/Naskapi/Montagnais. Though descriptions varied somewhat, common to all these cultures was the conception of Wendigos as malevolent, cannibalistic, supernatural beings (manitous) of great spiritual power. They were strongly associated with the Winter, the North, and coldness, as well as with famine and starvation.Basil Johnston, an Ojibwa teacher and scholar from Ontario, gives one description of how Wendigos were viewed:

“

The Weendigo was gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tautly over its bones. With its bones pushing out against its skin, its complexion the ash gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets, the Weendigo looked like a gaunt skeleton recently disinterred from the grave. What lips it had were tattered and bloody [....] Unclean and suffering from suppurations of the flesh, the Weendigo gave off a strange and eerie odor of decay and decomposition, of death and corruption.

”

At the same time, Wendigos were embodiments of gluttony, greed, and excess; never satisfied after killing and consuming one person, they were constantly searching for new victims. In some traditions, humans who became overpowered by greed could turn into Wendigos; the Wendigo myth thus served as a method of encouraging cooperation and moderation.

Among the Ojibwa, Eastern Cree, Westmain Swampy Cree, and Innu/Naskapi/Montagnais, Wendigos were said to be giants, many times larger than human beings (a characteristic absent from the Wendigo myth in the other Algonquian cultures). Whenever a Wendigo ate another person, it would grow larger, in proportion to the meal it had just eaten, so that it could never be full. Wendigos were therefore simultaneously constantly gorging themselves and emaciated from starvation.

Cheery, isn’t it.

Wendigo has a Lovecraftian counterpart (which in turn means something I will not touch on at the moment, but will come up later.) In the Lovecraftian Mythos. Wendigo is Ithaqua. Algeron Blackwood first fictionalized him in his story “the Wendigo”, and August Dereleth, not Lovecraft, created Ithiqua from it.  Here is the description of Ithaqua of Derelith’s framework.

Again, from Wikipedia.Com:

Ithaqua is one of the Great Old Ones and appears as a horrifying giant with a roughly human shape and glowing red eyes. He has been reported from as far north as the Arctic to the Sub-Arctic, where Native Americans first encountered him. He is believed to prowl the Arctic waste, hunting down unwary travelers and slaying them gruesomely. He is believed to have inspired the Native American legend of the Wendigo and possibly the Yeti.

Ithaqua’s cult is small, but he is greatly feared in the far north. Fearful denizens of Siberia and Alaska often leave sacrifices for Ithaqua—not as worship but as appeasement. Those who join his cult will gain the ability to be completely unaffected by cold temperatures. He often uses Shantaks, a dragon-like “lesser race”, as servitors.

Ithaqua figures prominently in Brian Lumley’s Lovecraft-based Titus Crow series, ruling the ice-world of Borea. In Lumley’s works, Ithaqua periodically treads the winds of space between Earth and Borea, bringing helpless victims back to Borea to worship him among its snowy wastes. He frequently attempts to reproduce with humanoid females, hoping to create offspring which can surpass his own limitations, imposed by the Elder Gods, and so help free the rest of the Great Old Ones. It is suggested that Ithaqua has the ulterior motive of desiring offspring to assuage his bitter loneliness, as he is the only one of his kind. None of his surviving offspring to date has accommodated him, all turning against him at some point.

Wendigo: Analysis and Dissection-Intro.

Preamble

Understand now, as we begin, this hunt was not begun lightly.

There are so many signs and events which led to this. Small and large.  It is unfortunate, as with most greater movements in life, that knowing the movement does not tell yu exactly where you are as the movement ends. Your steps have already been predetermined, and yet things are placed, either of their own accord or by the actions of others, within that path.

The question that it really comes down to, is the Question of Ganesh.  Is that which is in my path a part of what I was to move with and should be danced with,or something which through wish of it’s own or others has been placed to impede my progress.

The sad thing is that in “living in the moment”, you cannot ask these questions as you come upon the obstacle, you can only ask as you walk away.

Questions as to the why, how, and what of things dissassemble them, and they cannot move of thier own will, once a certain level of dissecton has occurred. The dissection can only continue. Cutting it to pieces till it is no longer recognizeable save in the recollection of an anatomical diagram. Continue until at last you come to the heart…or perhaps where in fact, if you’re smart and saved yourself no small amount of travial, where you were smart enough to start. Asking the questionof  “HOW IT MOVES” immediatley bring something under direct scruitiny. Nothing under direct scrutiiny and observation moves entirely f it’s own accord. All actions flow from the center, and few creatures under observation whish to make what holds them together known.

When looking as that thing known as “wendigo”, you must know right away that which binds it at it’s center.

Wendigo has a heart of ice. And Ice is Water and Air, and Shadow.

And therin lies the means to it’s defeat.

Dream symbols- a break down.

The long promised symbol break-down.

Rememeber that in certain schools of symbology, shapes, curves, and lines have common meanings. They function much like Fibonnaci numbers- they draw the mind to construct certain patterns.

So, in doing that…

Dream Symbol to Chango Veve:

dream symbol

Chango Veve

Obviously the similarity of the circle and crossed lines is what stands out.

The circle, in Zen theorum, represents the self.

The crossed lines…well…I’ll let Symbols.com explain :

//

Like , it has been found engraved on the walls of prehistoric caves in Europe. In early Chinese ideography it stood for the number 5.
As an Egyptian hieroglyph it meant to damage, divide, count, or break into parts.
Compare this with its use as multiplication sign from the beginning of the seventeenth century. The law of the polarity of meanings of elementary graphs applies.
The very similar is a rune used in some of the old Nordic rune alphabets. Its name is gif or geba, meaning gift, especially a gift from a chief to a loyal warrior or subject.
As a modern ideogram the diagonal cross has a wide spectrum of meanings from confrontation, annulment, cancellation, over opposing forces, hindrances, obstruction, to unknown, undecided, unsettled.
Here are a number of examples of the specific meanings of in different systems

: a crossbreed between different species, varieties or races (in botany and biology), takes (chess), printing error (printing), I/we can not continue (ground-to-air emergency code), unknown number or multiply (mathematics), unknown person (Mr. X), and road obstruction (military).
The diagonal cross is sometimes used as a symbol for Christ, whose name in Greek begins with the Greek letter X. It also stands for the number 1,000 in ancient Greece, and even represented Chronos, the god of time, the planet Saturn and the god Saturn in Roman mythology.
When the diagonal cross appears as a closed or filled sign, , it becomes the cross of St. Andrew (refer to this sign in Group 28). According to tradition, St. Andrew was too humble to allow himself to be crucified on the same type of cross as Christ.

(as a side note, Algol is supposedly heavily influenced by Saturnian energy/vibration.)

Now…Algol and the NOR logic gate

Algol Cabbalic

Nor GATE USED IN COMPUTER PROGRAMMING AND CIRCUT DIAGRAM MACHINE LANGUAGES

We see two inputs, one output. After the output in Algol, you see a single line crossed by four others continuing along the logic path of the output.

I’ve already gone into The logic of the NOR gate, how there must be NO information coming inot the gate for it to “open”.  Corellating it with the other symbology we’ve seen so far makes a lot of sense.

So what do the crossed lines at the end of the gate signify?

There are several different meanings to that, actually.  In botany, it’s close to a symbol which means “poisonous plant”, and in Chess notation it means “checkmate”.  However closer symbols, both French and American Hobo sign, connotate “police watch here closley” or “people will call the police”…and if you actually add enough lines to where the sign equals “people here tell you to go to hell”.

But! IF YOU NOTICE! That crosspiece is missing from the symbol of my dream.

As are the two little “side nodes” that are present in the Algol symbol.

Corellation is fine. But before you make connections and say one thing is another thing.

Because it looks like Chango does not mean it WAS Chango. It means it MOVED like Chango.

Because Algol LOOKS like a NOR gate means they share some of the same patters of movement, but may not be the same movement in as a whole.

More in a sec…I have to eat.

Dreams- The Algol/symbol corellations

It’s taken me a while, betweeen my partner working on her review like a madman (and therefore dominating the computer), and taking the time to do the research.

But:

Algol:

The Gorgon Medusa plays an important part in the story of the Greek hero Perseus. Robert Graves relates that, “…the Gorgon Medusa had serpents for hair, huge teeth, protruding tongue and altogether so ugly a face that all who gazed upon it were [literally] petrified with fright.” The Greek Myths (Penguin, 1955) page 239.
With the aid of Hermes and Athene Perseus slew Medusa and cut off her head, which continued to have the ability to turn those who beheld it to stone.

Algol is the second brightest star of the constellation Perseus and thus is sometimes referred to as Beta Persei. The name Algol, says Richard Hinckley Allen, comes from the Arabic Ras Al-Ghul, which literally means the Mischief Maker. Star Names (Dover, 1963) page 332. Algol is called the Demon, the Demon Star and is also known as the Blinking Demon because it is part of a binary star system where a dimmer star periodically eclipses its brighter partner.
Algol has a very bad reputation among astrologers. Vivian Robson says, “It is the most evil star in the heavens.” The Fixed Stars and Constellations in Astrology (Sun Books 1995) page 124. William Lilly gives a significator a score of minus five points if within five degrees of Algol and says it prenotes death either by violence to oneself or others. Christian Astrology pages 115, 257-8, 536.
One would think that this is a star to stay well away from. However, Cornelius Agrippa says,

Under the Head of Algol, they made an image whose figure was the head of a man with a bloody neck; they report that it bestoweth good success to petitions, and make him go carrieth it bold and magnanimous, and preserveth the members of the body sound; also it helpeth against witchcraft, and reflecteth evil endeavours, and wicked incantations upon our adversaries.

Three Books of Occult Philosophy Bk.II, Chapter 47 (Tyson ed.) page 395. Agrippa gives the following instructions for the making of rings which we can adapt for our Algol talisman,

Now, the manner of making these kinds of rings, is this, viz., when any star ascends fortunately, with the fortunate aspect or conjunction of the Moon, we must take a stone, and herb that is under that star, and fasten it under that star and make a ring of the metal that is suitable to this star, and in it fasten the stone, putting the herb or root under it; not omitting the inscription of images, names and characters, and also the proper suffimigations…”

Three Books of Occult Philosophy Bk.I, Chapter 47 (Tyson ed.) page 140.

The Moon is strong in its exaltation Taurus and is making an applying sextile to the Sun. Nevertheless, this is still an election with malefic overtones. William Ramesey says, “…in all manner of Elections for good…[Let not the Moon] be in the Ascendant…” Astrologiae Restaurata (London, 1653) page 127. It is the planetary hour of Saturn, the Greater Malefic. And c’mon, it’s an Algol election!

Agrippa says that under the rule of Algol are diamonds, black hellebore and mugwort. Three Books of Occult Philosophy Bk.I, Chapter 32 (Tyson ed.) page 99. Mugwort (Artemisia vulgaris) is available from the Lucky Mojo Curio Company. Here is more information on Black Hellebore, Helleborus niger.

Algol even has its own character which appears to right. Three Books of Occult Philosophy Bk.II, Chapter 52 (Tyson ed.) page 409.

An interesting thing…while reading the Agrippa, somewhere towards the beginning of the first part, he writes this:

The Number and the Nature of those things, Cal’d Elements, what Fire, Earth, Aire forth brings: From whence the Heavens their beginnings had; Whence Tide, whence Rainbow, in gay colours clad.  What makes the Clouds that gathered are, and black, To send forth Lightnings, and a Thundring crack; What doth the Nightly Flames, and Comets make; What makes the Earth to swell, and then to quake: What is the seed of Metals, and of Gold What Vertues, Wealth, doth Nature’s Coffer hold.

Consiering all the work I’ve done recently in tring to find a smiplistic, reduced, NON-CONTEXTUAL sumbol system to describe the process of perception, that AS I FINISH IT, I have this dream.

And then find this quote.

Added, for some insane reason, the elements of storm and apocalypse like’n to the dream.

The corellation Agrippa makes is unmistakeable.

This is the final combination of movements before the summation of Philosopher’s Stone consciouness.

The true perception of what you’re working with.

So…on with the other symbols.

Chango:

In trying to find a metaphysical match to the symbol in my dream, I remembered several which had the same patterns of foce and summation.

One was primary.

The Voudoun veve of Shango, lwa of storms.

Yeah, Lwa of thunder and lightning. Did anyone else hear a loud audible *click*?

so then we come to the second symbol I came acrossed  The NOR gate:

The Nor Gate.

The NOR gate is a digital logic gate that implements logical NOR . A HIGH output (1) results if both the inputs to the gate are LOW (0). If one or both input is HIGH (1), a LOW output (0) results. NOR is the result of the negation of the OR operator. NOR is a functionally complete operation — combinations of NOR gates can be combined to generate any other logical function. By contrast, the OR operator is monotonic as it can only change LOW to HIGH but not vice versa.

In most, but not all, circuit implementations, the negation comes for free — including CMOS and TTL. In such logic families, the only way to implement OR is with 2 or more gates, such as a NOR followed by an inverter. A significant exception is some forms of the domino logic family.”

Basically, what a nor gate is, perceptually, is kind of the “watched pot never boils ” proof of logic.

As long as there is ANY input, the output is always negative. Only in the complete absence of input from any source makes an output.

As the shaman from Altered States would say, “It is the crack between nothing and nothing”.

In it’s own way, that’s how thunder is too. Lightning push air out of the way so fast that a vacuum forms behind the bolt. A sonic boom. And yet, there’s nothing what common sense says is “material” about the bolt. It’s energy, and yet it makes an effect as if it had mass.. If it is nothing but energy, common sense says it is….”nothing”.  This energy splits the air, another thing which is considered- having no weight or mass- to common sense, not real…nothing.

Thunder happens in the crack between nothings

Oddly enough, now the Gnostic Gospel of “The Thunder, Perfect Mind”  makes perfect sense.

I was sent forth from the power,

and I have come to those who reflect upon me,

and I have been found among those who seek after me.

Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,

and you hearers, hear me.

You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.

And do not banish me from your sight.

And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.

Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!

Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.

I am the honored one and the scorned one.

I am the whore and the holy one.

I am the wife and the virgin.

I am <the mother> and the daughter.

I am the members of my mother.

I am the barren one

and many are her sons.

I am she whose wedding is great,

and I have not taken a husband.

I am the midwife and she who does not bear.

I am the solace of my labor pains.

I am the bride and the bridegroom,

and it is my husband who begot me.

I am the mother of my father

and the sister of my husband

and he is my offspring.

I am the slave of him who prepared me.

I am the ruler of my offspring.

But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.

And he is my offspring in (due) time,

and my power is from him.

I am the staff of his power in his youth,

and he is the rod of my old age.

And whatever he wills happens to me.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible

and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.

I am the voice whose sound is manifold

and the word whose appearance is multiple.

I am the utterance of my name.

Why, you who hate me, do you love me,

and hate those who love me?

You who deny me, confess me,

and you who confess me, deny me.

You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,

and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.

You who know me, be ignorant of me,

and those who have not known me, let them know me.

For I am knowledge and ignorance.

I am shame and boldness.

I am shameless; I am ashamed.

I am strength and I am fear.

I am war and peace.

Give heed to me.

I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.

Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.

Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,

and you will find me in those that are to come.

And do not look upon me on the dung-heap

nor go and leave me cast out,

and you will find me in the kingdoms.

And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who

are disgraced and in the least places,

nor laugh at me.

And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.

But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.

Be on your guard!

Do not hate my obedience

and do not love my self-control.

In my weakness, do not forsake me,

and do not be afraid of my power.

For why do you despise my fear

and curse my pride?

But I am she who exists in all fears

and strength in trembling.

I am she who is weak,

and I am well in a pleasant place.

I am senseless and I am wise.

Why have you hated me in your counsels?

For I shall be silent among those who are silent,

and I shall appear and speak,

Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?

Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?

For I am the wisdom of the Greeks

and the knowledge of the barbarians.

I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.

I am the one whose image is great in Egypt

and the one who has no image among the barbarians.

I am the one who has been hated everywhere

and who has been loved everywhere.

I am the one whom they call Life,

and you have called Death.

I am the one whom they call Law,

and you have called Lawlessness.

I am the one whom you have pursued,

and I am the one whom you have seized.

I am the one whom you have scattered,

and you have gathered me together.

I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,

and you have been shameless to me.

I am she who does not keep festival,

and I am she whose festivals are many.

I, I am godless,

and I am the one whose God is great.

I am the one whom you have reflected upon,

and you have scorned me.

I am unlearned,

and they learn from me.

I am the one that you have despised,

and you reflect upon me.

I am the one whom you have hidden from,

and you appear to me.

But whenever you hide yourselves,

I myself will appear.

For whenever you appear,

I myself will hide from you.

Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].

Take me [... understanding] from grief.

and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.

And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,

and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.

Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;

and out of shamelessness and shame,

upbraid my members in yourselves.

And come forward to me, you who know me

and you who know my members,

and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.

Come forward to childhood,

and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.

And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,

for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.

Why do you curse me and honor me?

You have wounded and you have had mercy.

Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.

And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away

[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.

[...].

What is mine [...].

I know the first ones and those after them know me.

But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].

I am the knowledge of my inquiry,

and the finding of those who seek after me,

and the command of those who ask of me,

and the power of the powers in my knowledge

of the angels, who have been sent at my word,

and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,

and of spirits of every man who exists with me,

and of women who dwell within me.

I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,

and who is despised scornfully.

I am peace,

and war has come because of me.

And I am an alien and a citizen.

I am the substance and the one who has no substance.

Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,

and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.

Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,

and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.

On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,

and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.

[I am ...] within.

[I am ...] of the natures.

I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.

[...] request of the souls.

I am control and the uncontrollable.

I am the union and the dissolution.

I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.

I am the one below,

and they come up to me.

I am the judgment and the acquittal.

I, I am sinless,

and the root of sin derives from me.

I am lust in (outward) appearance,

and interior self-control exists within me.

I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone

and the speech which cannot be grasped.

I am a mute who does not speak,

and great is my multitude of words.

Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.

I am she who cries out,

and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.

I prepare the bread and my mind within.

I am the knowledge of my name.

I am the one who cries out,

and I listen.

I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].

I am [...] the defense [...].

I am the one who is called Truth

and iniquity [...].

You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.

You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)

before they give judgment against you,

because the judge and partiality exist in you.

If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?

Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?

For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,

and the one who fashions you on the outside

is the one who shaped the inside of you.

And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;

it is visible and it is your garment.

Hear me, you hearers

and learn of my words, you who know me.

I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;

I am the speech that cannot be grasped.

I am the name of the sound

and the sound of the name.

I am the sign of the letter

and the designation of the division.

And I [...].

(3 lines missing)

[...] light [...].

[...] hearers [...] to you

[...] the great power.

And [...] will not move the name.

[...] to the one who created me.

And I will speak his name.

Look then at his words

and all the writings which have been completed.

Give heed then, you hearers

and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,

and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.

For I am the one who alone exists,

and I have no one who will judge me.

For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,

and incontinencies,

and disgraceful passions,

and fleeting pleasures,

which (men) embrace until they become sober

and go up to their resting place.

And they will find me there,

and they will live,

and they will not die again.

I read this, now, and see so many things which apply to the prnciple of thunder, to Agrippa’s discourse, to Algol itself.

It’s truly amazing.

I’ll do the symbol breakdown /comparison and the text synchs tonight

The dream was NOT a bad dream.

The dream was my glimpse of finally seeing what i needed to see.

Of knowing something in my heart I cold never say.

I can see again.

I can see.

Anathema of Zos, an automatic writing by Austin Osman Spare.

The Sermon to the Hypocrites

Hostile to self-torment, the vain excuses called devotion, Zos satisfied the habit by speaking loudly unto his Self. And at one time, returning to familiar consciousness, he was vexed to notice interested hearers-a rabble of involuntary mendicants, pariahs, whoremongers, adulterers, distended bellies, and the prevalent sick-grotesques that obtain in civilisations. His irritation was much, yet still they pestered him, saying: Master, we would learn of these things! Teach us Religion!

And seeing, with chagrin, the hopeful multitude of Believers, he went down into the Valley of Stys, prejudiced against them as Followers. And when he was ennuye, he opened his mouth in derision, saying:-
O, ye whose future is in other hands! This familiarity is permitted not of thy-but of my impotence. Know me as Zos the Goatherd, saviour of myself and of those things I have not yet regretted. Unbidden ye listen’d to my soliloquy. Endure then my Anathema.

Foul feeders! Slipped, are ye, on your own excrement? Parasites! Having made the world lousy, imagine ye are of significance to Heaven?

Desiring to learn-think ye to escape hurt in the rape of your ignorance? For of what I put in, far more than innocence shall come out! Labouring not the harvest of my weakness, shall I your moral-fed desires satisfy?

I, who enjoy my body with unweary tread, would rather pack with wolves than enter your pest-houses.

Sensation . . Nutrition . . . Mastication . . . . Procreation . . . ! This is your blind-worm cycle. Ye have made a curiously bloody world for love in desire. Shall nothing change except through your accusing diet?

In that ye are cannibals, what meat should I offer? Having eaten of your dead selves savoured with every filth, ye now raven to glutton of my mind’s motion?

In your conflict ye have obtained . . . ? Ye who believe your procreation is ultimate are the sweepings of creation manifest, returning again to early simplicity to hunger, to become, and realise-ye are not yet. Ye have muddled time and ego. Think ye to curb the semen sentimentally? Ye deny sexuality with tinsel ethics, live by slaughter, pray to greater idiots-that all things may be possible to ye who are impossible.

For ye desire saviours useless to pleasure.

Verily, far easier for madmen to enter Heaven than moral Lepers. Of what difference is Life or Death? Of what difference is dream or reality? Know ye nothing further than you own stench? Know ye what ye think ye know for certain? Fain would I be silent. Yet too tolerant is this Sun that cometh up to behold me, and my weakness comes of my dissatisfaction of you solicit . . . . but be ye damned before obtaining fresh exuses of me!

Cursed are the resurrectionists! Is there only body and soul?

Is there nothing beyond entity? No purchase beyond sense and desire of God than this blasting and devouring swarm ye are?

Oh, ye favoured of your own excuses, guffaw between bites! Heaven is indifferent toyour salvation or catastrophe. Your curveless crookedness maketh ye fallow for a queer fatality! What! I to aid your self-deception, ameliorate your decaying bodies, preserve your lamentable apotheosis of self?

The sword-thrust not salve-I bring!

Am I your swineherd, though I shepherd unto goats? My pleasure does not obtain among vermin with vain ideas-with hopes and fears of absurd significance. Not yet am I overweary of myself. Not ye shall I palliate abomination, for in ye I behold your parents and the stigmata of foul feeding.

In this ribald intoxication of hypocrisy, this monument of swindlers’ littlenesses, where is the mystic symposium, the hierarchy of necromancers that was?

Honest was Sodom! your theology is a slime-pit of gibberish become ethics. In your world, where ignorance and deceit constitute felicity, everything ends miserably-besmirched with fratricidal blood.

Seekers of salvation? Salvation of your sick digestion; crippled beliefs: Convalescent desires. Your borrowed precepts and prayers-a stench unto all good nostrils!

Unworthy of a soul-your metamorphosis is laborious of morbid rebirth to give habitance to the shabby sentiments, the ugly familiarities, the calligraphic pandemonium-a world of abundance acquired of greed. Thus are ye outcasts! Ye habitate dung-heaps; your glorious palaces are hospitals set amid cemeteries. Ye breathe gay-heartedly within this cess-pit? Ye obtain of half-desires, bent persuasions, of threats, of promises made hideous by vituperatious righteousness! Can you realise of Heaven when it exists without?

Believing without associating ye are spurious and know not the way of virtue. There is no virtue in truth, nor truth in righteousness. Law becomes of desire’s necessity. Corrupt is the teacher, for they who speak have only spent words to give.

Believe or blaspheme! Do ye not speak from between your thighs?

To believe or unbelieve is the question. Verily, if you believe of the least-ye needs must thrive all things. Ye are of all things, of all knowledge, and, belike, will youor stupidity to further self-misery!

Your wish? Your heaven? I say your desire is women. Your potential desire a brothel.

Ah, ye who fear suffering, who among ye has courage to assault the cloudy enemies of creeds, of the stomach’s pious hopes?

I blaspheme your commandments, to provoke and enjoy your bark, your teeth grinding!

Know ye what ye want? What ye ask? Know ye virtue from maniacal muttering? Sin from folly? Desiring a teacher, who among ye are worthy to learn?

Brutally shall I teach the gospel of soul-suicide, of contraception, not preservation and procreation.

Fools! Ye have made vital the belief the Ego is eternal,, fulfilling a purpose not lost to you.

All things become of desire; the legs to the fish; the wings to the reptile. Thus was your soul begotten.

Hear, O vermin!

Man has willed Man!

Your desires shall become flesh, your dreams reality and no fear shall alter it one whit.

Hence do I travel ye into the incarnating abortions-the aberratons, the horrors without sex, for ye are worthless to offer Heaven new sexualities.

Once in this world I enjoyed laughter-when I remembered the value I gave the contemptible; the significance of my selfish fears; the absurd vanity of my hopes; the sorry righteousness called I.

And you?

Certainly not befitting are tears of blood, nor laughter of gods.

Ye do not even look like MEN but the strange spawn of some forgotten ridicule.

Lost among the illusions begat of duality-are these the differentiations ye make for future entity to ride your bestial self? Millions of times have ye had re-birth and many more times will ye again suffer existence.

Ye are of things distressed, living down the truths ye made. Loosing only from my overflow, perchance I teach ye to learn of yourselves? In my becoming shall the hungry satisfy of my good and evil? I strive me neither, and confide subsequent to the event.

Know my purpose: To be a stranger unto myself, the enemy of truth.

Uncertain of what ye believe, belike ye half-desire? But believe ye this, serving your dialectics:-
Subscribing only to self-love, the outcroppings of my hatred now speak. Further, to ventilate my own health, I scoff at your puerile dignitaries’ absurd moral clothes and bovine faith in a fortuitous and gluttonous future!

Dogs, devouring your own vomit! Cursed are ye all! Throwbacks, adulterers, sycophants, corpse devourers, pilferers and medicine swallowers! Think ye Heaven is an infirmary?

Ye know not pleasure. In your sleep lusts, feeble violence and sickly morale, ye are more contemptible than the beasts ye feed for food.

I detest your Mammon. Disease partakes of your wealth. Having acquired, ye know not how to spend.

Ye are good murderers only.

Empty of cosmos are they who hunger after righteousness. Already are the merciful spent. Extinct are the pure in heart. Governed are the meek and of Heaven earn similar disgust. Your society is a veneered barbarity. Ye are precocious primitives. Where is your success other than through hatred?

There is no good understanding in your world-this bloody transition by procreation and butchery.

Of necessity ye hate, and love your neighbor by devouring.

The prophets are nauseating and should be persecuted. Objects of ridicule, their deeds cannot live through their tenets. Actions are the crierion, then how can ye speak other than lies?

Love is cursed. Your desire is your God and execration. Ye shall be judged or your appetite.

Around me I see your configuration-again a swine from the herd. A repulsive object of charity! The curse is pronounce; for ye are slime and sweat-born, homicidally reared. And again shall your fathers call to the help of women. Ye vainly labour at a rotten Kingdom of Good and Evil. I say that Heaven is catholic-and none shall enter with susceptibility of either.

Cursed are ye who shall be persecuted for my sake. For I say I am Convention entire, excessively evil, perverted and nowhere good-for ye.

Whosoever would be with me is neither much of me nor of himself enough.

Zos tired, but loathing his hearers too much, he again reviled them saying:-
Worm-ridden jackals! Still would ye feast on my vomit? Whosoever follows me becomes his own enemy; for in that day my exigency shall be his ruin.

Go labour! Fulfil the disgust of becoming yourself, of discovering your beliefs, and thus acquire virtue. Let your good be accidental; thus escape gratitude and it sorry vainglory, for the wrath of Heaven is heavy on easy self-indulgence.

In your desire to create a world, do unto others as you would-when sufficiently courageous.

To cast aside, not save, I come. Inexorably towards myself; to smash the law, to make havoc of the charlatans, the quacks, the swankers and brawling salvationists with their word-tawdry phantasmagoria; to disillusion and awaken every fear of your natural, rapacious selves.

Living the most contemptible and generating everything beastly, are ye so vain of your excuse to expect other than the worst of your imagining?

Honesty is unvoiced! And I warn you to make holocaust of your saints, your excuses: these flatulent bellowings of your ignorance. Only then could I assure your lurking desire-easy remission of your bowdlerised sins.
Criminals of folly? Ye but sin against self.

There is no sin for those of Heaven’s delight. I would ye resist not nor exploit your evil: such is of fear, and somnambulism is born of hypocrisy.

In pleasure Heaven shall break every law before this Earth shall pass away. Thus if I possessed, my goodness towards ye would be volcanic.

He who is lawless is free. Necessity and time are conventional phenomena.

Without hypocrisy or fear ye could do as ye wish. Whosoever, therefore, shall break the precept or live its transgression shall have relativity of Heaven. For unless your righteousness exist not, ye shall not pleasure freely and creatively. In so much as ye sin against doctrine, so shall your imagination be required in becoming.

It has been said without wit: “Thou shalt not kill.” Among beasts man lives supremely-on his own kind. Teeth and claws are no longer sufficient accessory to appetite. Is this world’s worst reality more vicious than human behaviour?

I suggest to your inbred love of moral gesture to unravel the actual from the dream.

Rejoice ye! The law-makers shall have the ugly destiny of becoming ubject. Whatsoever is ordained is superseded-to make equilibrium of this consciousness rapport with hypocrisy.

Could ye be arbitrary? Belief foreshadows its inversion. Overrun with forgotten desires and struggling truths, ye are their victim in the dying and begetting law.

The way of Heaven is a purpose-anterior to and not induced by thought. Desire, other than by the act, shall in no wise obtain: Therefore believe symbolically or with caution.

Between men and women having that desire there is no adultery. Spend the large lust and when ye are satiated ye shall pass on to something fresh. In this polite day it has become cleaner to fornicate by the wish than to enact.

Offend not your body no be so stupid as to let your body offend ye. How shall it serve ye to reproach your duality? Let your oath be in earnest; though better to communicate by the living act than by the word.

This God-this cockatrice-is a projection of your imbecile apprehensions, your bald grossness and madhouse vanities. Your love is born of fear; but far better to hate than further deception.

I would make your way difficult. Give and take of all men indiscriminately.

I know your love and hate. Inquire of red diet. Within your stomach is civil war.

Only in Self-love is procreative will.

What now! Shall I attempt wisdom by words? Alphabetic truths with legerdemain grammar? There is no spoken truth that is not past-more wisely forgotten.

Shall I scrawl slippery paradox with mad calligraphy? Words, mere words! I exist in a wordless world, without yesterday nor to-morrow- beyond becoming.

All conceivableness procures of time and space. Hence I spit on your tatterdemalion ethics, mouldering proverbs, priestly inarticulations and delirious pulpit jargon. This alone I give ye as safe commandments in your pestilent schisms.

Better is it to go without than to borrow. Finer far to take than beg. From Puberty till Death realise “Self” in all. There is no greater virtue than good nourishment. Feed from the udder, and if the milk be Sour, feed on . . . Human nature is the worst possible!

Once I lived among ye. From self-decency now I habitate the waste places, a willing outcast; associate of goats, cleaner far, more honest than men.

Within this heterogenousness of difference, reality is hard to realise; evacuation is difficult.

These spiritualists are living sepulchres. What has decayed should perish decently.

Cursed are they who supplicate. Gods are with ye yet. Therefore let ye who pray acquire this manner:-
O Self my God, foreign is thy name except in blasphemy, for I am thy iconoclast. I cast thy bread upon the waters, for I myself am meat enough. Hidden in the labyrinth of the Alphabet is my sacred name, the Sigil of all things unknown. On Earth my kingdom is Eternity of Desire. My wish incarnates in the belief and becomes flesh, for, I am the Lijving Truth. Heaven is ecstacy; my consciousness changing and acquiring association. May I have courage to take from my own superabundance. Let me forget righteousness. Free me of mrals. Lead me into temptation of myself, for I am a tottering kingdom of good and evil.

May worth be acquired through those things I have pleasured.

May my trespass be worthy.

Give me the death of my soul. Intoxicate me with self-love. Teach me to sustain its freedom; for I am sufficiently Hell. Let me sin against the small beliefs.-Amen.

Concluding his conjunction, Zos said:-
Again, O sleep-walkers, beggars and sufferers, born of the stomach; unlucky men to whom happiness is necessary!

Ye are insufficient to live alone, not yet mature enough to sin against the law and still desire women.

Other than damnation I know no magic to satisfy your wishes; for ye believe one thing, desire another, speak unlike, act differently and obtain the living value.

Assuredly inclination towards new faculties springs from this bastardy!

Social only to the truths convenient to your courage, yet again beasts shall be planted.

Shall I speak of that unique intensity without form? Know ye the ecstasy within? The pleasure between ego and self?

At that time of ecstasy there is no thought of others; there is No Thought. Thither I go and none may lead.

Sans women-your love is anathema!

For me, there is no way but my way. Therefore, go ye your way-none shall lead ye to walk towards yourselves. Let your pleasures be as sunsets, honest . . bloody . . . grotesque!

Was the original purpose the thorough enjoyment of multitudinous self, for ecstasy? These infinite ramifications of consciousness in entity, associating by mouth, sex, and sense!

Has the besetting of sex become utter wretchedness-repetition made necessary of your scotomy?

O bloody-mouthed! Shall I again entertain ye with a little understanding? An introspection of cannibalism in the shambles of diet-the variating murder against the ancestral? Is there no food beyond corpse?

Your murder and hypocrisy must pass before ye are uplifted to a world where slaughter is unknown.

Thus, with a clean mouth, I say unto ye, I live by bread alone. Sleep is competent prayer. All morality is beastly.

Alas, there has been a great failure. Man is dead. Only women remain.

With tonque in cheek I would say: “Follow me! That ye realise what is hidden in all suffering. I would make your self-mortification voluntary, your wincing courageous.”

Still will ye be with me? Salutation to all suicides!

With a yawn Zos wearied and fell asleep.

In time the stench awoke him-for he had slept amidst the troughs- and he observed that the crowd were no longer with him-that only swine remained. And he guffawed and spake thus: “Not yet have I lost relationship and am thereby nearly asphyxiated! Caught up am I in the toils of sentiment, the moral hallucinations within the ebb and flow of hopes and fears?

Shall age alone transmute desire? Not yet have I disentangled illusion from reality: for I know not men from swine, dreams from reality; or whether I did speak only unto myself. Neither know I to whom my anathema would be the more impressionable . . . .

My insensible soliloquy s eaten as revelation! What I spake with hard strived conceit to increase enterprise brings forth only swinish snorts. Water is not alone in finding its level.

I have not me tragedy, no, not in this life! Yet, whether I have spewed their doctrines upon the tables of the Law or into the troughs, at least I have not cast away the flesh of dreams.

And turning towards his light, Zos said: This my will, O Thou Glorious Sun. I am weary of my snakes descending-making slush.

Farewell antithesis. I have suffered. All is paid.

Let me go forth to recreate my sleep.

Here Ends this Book

Desire, VI

so…if you tell your what your needs and wants are by your state of fear regarding their absence, you cannot manifest desire.

Desire brings a new state of reality, and by releasing your fear, you step into it.

If you confuse desire with want and needs, you shouldn’t be surprised at the effect.

Now, If you want a definitive reference as to the how and way of this, why I think I’m right-

Read the Anthema of Zos